Where I live, back-to-school preparations are already a thing of the past. But in a lot of areas, the first day of school is still a future date on the calendar. And if your baby is about to start Pre-K, your anxieties might be rising as that date approaches.
When my daughter started Pre-K, it was her first time being away from me for an extended period of time every day. And those first couple of weeks were emotionally tumultuous for both of us.
She is now in first grade and this has been her third time starting to school or back to school. I have finally learned some typical things to expect from her each time back-to-school rolls around. I have also learned what my role is as her mom guiding her into each new back-to-school milestone.
So if you are nervously anticipating what it’s going to be like to send your baby into Pre-K (or if you are in the midst of the battle), find out how to make it as smooth of a transition as possible for yourself and your child during this back-to-school season by reading this post.
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Back-to-School with Your Pre-K Child
There are going to be some unavoidable challenges for both you and your child as you send her off to school for the first time. But you have a big impact on how negative or drawn-out those challenges are.
So here are the ways you can help your child and yourself in this period of adjustment.
1. Encourage a Positive Perspective
Make sure to encourage your child in any positive expectations he has of school. My daughter was very excited in the days leading up to starting Pre-K. We talked about the fun parts of going to Pre-K and looked forward to it together.
However, I also knew she was probably imagining school differently from what reality would prove it to be – such as the belief that she would be playing with toys in unstructured freedom all day. Your child probably has some misconceptions as well.
Be careful to correct any misconceptions as they come up. But any excitement or positive ideas about what will be great about school is worth celebrating along with your child.
2. Don’t Stay Too Long
You might hear this one from your child’s teachers. It is best not to stay long at drop-off. Try to get the majority of your hugs and kisses in before you leave the house so that you can keep the goodbye brief once you get to school.
Staying longer because your child is crying or clinging to you rarely improves outcomes in my experience. Keep the final goodbye short and sweet, even if your child is upset. Chances are, your child will calm down soon after you leave.
Believe me, I know this is way easier said than done. But if you need reassurance, ask your child’s teacher to text you a picture of your child’s first activity after drop-off. This way, you’ll be able to see for yourself whether your child is still upset after you leave.
3. Don’t Show Weakness
The next step in the back-to-school process with your Pre-K child is to hide your own struggles from your child. This point might seem obvious to an outsider. But when you are an anxious parent, it can be hard not to let on to your child that you are feeling just as scared and uncertain as she is.
I made the mistake of letting my daughter see how uncertain I was about her going to Pre-K. Once I started being strong in front of her, she realized this was not optional and her behavior about going to school improved..
4. Have Rewards Ready
This new phase in your child’s life is a big deal, particularly if he has never gone to school or daycare before. To make it as positive of an experience as you can on your own time, have a reward ready for the end of the school day.
I am not talking about a toy (although you could do that for the first or second day if it’s especially hard on your child). The rewards I’m talking about are things like a special snack or treat you know she loves or doing something fun together. Something that tells her you are proud of her for working hard at school all day.
To give you some ideas for healthy sweet treat options you can use as a reward now and then, I like to give my daughter Toto’s Cookies, Love + Chew Cookies, Larabars, Hu Chocolate, Lily’s Chocolate Chips and Lily’s White Chocolate Chips.
I also have a tool I like to use with my daughter that has been really helpful in motivating her to get around for school in the morning quickly and without complaint: Reward charts!
She gets a sticker every time she does well getting around. Once the chart is filled up, she gets to pick a big reward, like a fun date with Mommy, a movie night or a little party at home.
And since I love reward charts so much, I created one that is easy to access just for you. No need to add an extension to your browser or create an account (it drives me crazy when I have to do something to get to a “free” download)
Just enter your email address at the bottom of the page (no commitment, you can easily unsubscribe if you want to and I do NOT sell email addresses or any other personal information) and you will be sent a link to access it for FREE. No strings attached. So go grab it and let the rewarding begin!
5. Communicate with School Staff
This next tip is good advice for any parent getting ready for back-to-school season: Communicate with school staff.
If your child appears to be having a really hard time, speak with his teachers about it. Don’t hesitate to reach out. You never know what kinds of insights they may have.
When my husband and I were having to drag my daughter, kicking and screaming, to school for several mornings in a row, I was ready to call it quits within the first week and a half. of starting Pre-K. But when I mentioned this to the school director, she was shocked that I wanted to pull my daughter out.
She proceeded to tell me how amazing my daughter was doing all day at school. My daughter was participating, making friends and doing well overall. The director even took some videos of her throughout the day to show me when I picked her up later that day.
Communicate with school staff. This is beneficial for so many reasons, but the most important right now is that it will help to ease your own anxieties in the back-to-school process.
6. Keep Going
When you are three weeks in and things are still up and down, keep being consistent. This may be a huge adjustment for your child depending on whether he has any prior school experience. Even if he has some prior experience, Pre-K might be a longer school day than he’s used to.
My daughter still has up and down days. Starting first grade this year was still pretty challenging in the mornings for the first week. But some days are better. If you keep going with Pre-K, you will likely discover that your child will do great some days, terrible some days and somewhere in the middle other days.
If your child is still severely struggling with Pre-K one or two months in, perhaps you need to reevaluate whether this is the best thing for him right now. But trust me when I say that the first two or three weeks are not enough to determine how well your child is going to do in Pre-K in the long run.
Pre-K is the Hardest Year
If your experience starting Pre-K with your child is really challenging, find comfort in the fact that you are getting the hard part out of the way now. It will be easier in future school years.
When my daughter was starting Pre-K, I remember the director of the school telling me this was a good way to transition to going to school because I was allowed to walk her into her class. “Once they go to the big school,” she said, “you just have to drop them off from the car. You can’t go in with them.”
The way she said it made me feel nervous about my daughter’s next year at the “big school”. But because of my daughter’s experience going to Pre-K, she did fine at the big school and so did I. Before you know it, you and your child will be doing just fine too, Mama!
Do you have any advise for parents going through the transition to Pre-K with their child? Please share it in the comments!
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