Dear Baby Reflux Mama, how are you doing today? How long has it been since you talked to someone who was capable of reciprocating the conversion with more than just gurgles and coos? Do you feel pathetic because you’re baby is four months old and you still can’t go grocery shopping? I know how you feel, Mama.
When I was pregnant and people talked about how hard it is to get out of the house with a baby, I imagined scrambling to get organized and remember everything to take on an outing (Diaper bag: Check. Stroller: Check. Baby: Check). However, once I had my baby, forgetting much-needed items was not the problem.
The problem turned out to be trying to convince my screaming, choking, miserable newborn to go for a ride in the car in her carseat which she seemed to view as the electric chair.
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Please note that I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be taken as medical advice. Please consult your baby’s pediatrician about any concerns you have about your baby’s reflux.
The Beginning of the Battle
From the very first time we strapped our princess into that thing in our hospital room as we were preparing to head home, she hated being in it. My husband – who wears his seat belt lose enough to fit another person in it with him – kept insisting the straps were too tight. At one point, my mom suggested our fragile little human might have a cracked clavicle from her lengthy descent into this world.
It took us a while to figure out that it was reflux causing her so much carseat agony. Something about the positioning and angle she had to be in and the straps pressing against her sensitive little belly aggravated her reflux discomfort to the extent that we could barely make a ten minute drive without her getting so hysterical that we had to pull over at least once for me to nurse and soothe her.
Combined with the fact that she nursed constantly to deal with the reflux, these traumatic car rides made it nearly impossible for me to leave the house without my husband’s help and very difficult even with his help. So unfortunately, we just didn’t really leave the house except for doctor appointments.
And since the culprit causing so much distress was the same vessel she would need to be in to go for a stroller ride, we couldn’t even go out for a walk. I had a Moby wrap that my sister had given me which was supposed to be a great way to keep a baby close while being active (and it can be), but my reflux baby nursed constantly while awake, and if I tried to put her in it asleep, she would wake up and cry for her milk. So that was useless for the first few months.
A Little Improvement
Once my daughter was somewhere around 4 months old, my husband came across a good deal on a convertible Graeco carseat and we decided to try using that instead of our fancy Peg Perego travel system infant carseat.
This helped a lot. While car rides still weren’t easy, the inclined angle of the seat (too inclined to be safe for a newborn) made it a little less miserable for her to be strapped into.
But I still rarely left the house during the week because it was still a huge struggle to convince my daughter to get in her seat without a lot of tears and anguish. There was the occasional good day when she would get in relatively easily, but it usually was not the same scenario for the return trip home.
However, on the weekends, my husband was very dedicated to getting us out of the house so that I could feel human for an hour or two. By now, making short trips around town was doable if my husband drove us and I sat in the backseat to entertain the baby girl.
I remember one of the first times we went out to the mall. When I walked through the doors and saw other people walking around, I got so excited! As thrilled as I was to see them, they may have been a little frightened of the wide-eyed woman who looked like she had never been in a store before.
Around this age I was also able to use the Moby wrap with my daughter in an upright position, so I was able to go out for a walk now and then. Once she was 5 months old, I could put her directly in her stroller sitting up, which was a better position than reclining in the infant carrier, but this was not yet very comfortable for her at this age.
The Big Improvement
My daughter’s reflux has never improved (find out Why I Didn’t Medicate My Reflux Baby), but as she’s gotten older and more active, she has been able to handle it better and, consequently, car rides have gradually gotten better too.
Along with improvement in her carseat, she began enjoying stroller rides as long as it wasn’t a particularly bad reflux day. As she’s gotten older, we have been able to go for walks with the stroller pretty regularly.
Shortly before she turned a year old, car rides finally became very doable. For the past few months, we have been able to get out of the house fairly easily most of the time. There are still days here and there when it is difficult to get her into her seat, but I’m thrilled to be able to say that is now the exception instead of the rule.
At this point, as long as she is not hungry or thirsty and has nursed within the past two hours, she will usually get in her seat with little or no fuss (although sometimes a little distraction is required). It is SUCH a relief to be able to go out now, for my daughter’s sake as much as mine.
You Will Get There Too
Baby Reflux Mama, if you are looking at your reflux baby right now with love in your eyes and loneliness in your heart wondering if you will ever see another soul again … you will. Your reflux baby journey might be different from mine, but it will get easier as your child gets older.
I know it’s hard to be patient to feel “normal” again, but it will happen. In the meantime, surround yourself with people who support you (electronically if not physically) and enjoy giving all those extra snuggles your reflux baby needs from you. Trust me, I miss those constant snuggles already.
If you have any reflux baby car ride stories or tips that might encourage or help another mama, share them in the comments!
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