Most women expect to have some challenges while breastfeeding. What mamas don’t expect is to have crazy hormones after weaning from breastfeeding!
And, unfortunately, this topic is not discussed nearly as often as other breastfeeding-related subjects. Many women are completely unprepared for the tidal wave of hormones that hits them during and after weaning from breastfeeding.
I am writing this post as sort of a “Chapter 2” to my most popular post, PMS Symptoms While Breastfeeding: The Phantom Period.
The fact that so many mamas are gravitating to this topic tells me that you all are having the same struggles I have with mama-related hormones. And now you are trying to find answers about what is “normal” to experience with your hormones after weaning.
So let’s talk about what can happen with those hormones after weaning … and the fact that you may need to let go of the idea of “normal” for a while.
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My Experience with Hormones After Weaning
Let me first clarify that I have not yet fully weaned my daughter. I day-weaned her eight months ago, and that is when (most of) my hormonal chaos began.
My daughter has always been a frequent nurser. Up until her sudden and shocking lack of interest at 21 months of age, she nursed as often as a newborn – roughly every hour and a half during awake times and repeatedly during sleep times.
Read about what ecological breastfeeding is in this post.
So I suppose it should not have come as such a surprise to me that suddenly going 5-7 hours twice a day without breastfeeding was a pretty major shift for my body. But I was not expecting the level of hormonal madness that ensued.
The first three days of day-weaning were horrible. Physically. Emotionally. Hormonally. I just felt rotten all over. I have never experienced anything else like it. For more details on that intial weaning experience, read this post I wrote in the midst of it.
On the fourth day, I literally felt the cloud lift from my mood and the heaviness lift from my body. Take heart if you are still in the intensity of the weaning process, Mama. It does ease up.
However, the crazy hormones were far from over.
For about five months following the partial weaning, I had almost continuous mensturation-like cramping, sore breasts, low energy and other various PMS symptoms.
At one point, four months post-partial-weaning, I thought I was finally at the end of the unpredictable hormones when I had a very light, very short period. It lasted three days and mainly consisted of spotting, which meant I likely had not ovulated prior to that period.
As a positive sidenote, I did not experience much cramping or discomfort while on my period.
I was hopeful that finally having a period meant I would have a regular cycle. However, hormones are notorious for objecting to any form of balance.
I continued to have PMS symptoms for a few weeks following this first period. Then things finally settled down enough that I didn’t feel like I was constantly PMSing. But in the coming weeks and months, I also did not have another period.
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It was nice to not be feeling quite as hormonally crazy. But I was also really curious to see if and when I would have another period. I had read various stories from women who went every other month without a period or had three, four or even six month stretches between periods after the return of their cycles while still breastfeeding.
Eventually I did get another very light, very short period – pretty much identical to my first – almost four months after my first postpartum period. Leading up to it, I had cramping for about a week that let me know it was coming but gave me no way of knowing when it would come.
Once again, fortunately, the period itself was virtually painless and easy.
Unfortunately, that was two weeks ago as of this writing and I have once again been experiencing quite a few PMS symptoms since then.
So, I suppose the best way to sum up the past eight months for me is to say that constantly changing hormones have been my close companions.
Update 11/15/2024: Shortly after writing this post, I finally started my first REAL period that was not just spotting. So ultimately, it took a total of 9 months from the time I day-weaned my daughter to the time I got my full cycle back. I also had a similar experience with my second daughter. Note that continuing to breastfeed part-time after a partial weaning likely extends the amount of time it takes to resume your cycle.
What is so Frustrating About Post-Weaning Hormones
Something motherhood seems to be trying to teach me over and over is how unpredictable life is … and hormones in particular. This unpredictability of my hormones is what really gets to me. I just want to know what is going on with my body.
And it drives me completely insane when I can’t know.
Can you relate, Mama? Maybe you are having this frustrating struggle right now. Are you searching the web, reading other moms’ stories, trying to predict how your body will respond to weaning from breastfeeding?
I’m going to be honest with you, Mama. The hormones after weaning can be really difficult. And they might not regulate for a while. Especially if, like me, you have only partially weaned.
I’ve had a lot of hard days and weeks these past eight months. I’ve utterly exhausted myself at times trying to calculate where I might be at in an invisible cycle that always seems immanent but never appears.
It is frustrating dealing with hormones after weaning because you expect to be able to know your body again once you’re done constantly sharing it with someone else. But you may actually find that your body struggles to remember what normal is for a long time.
It’s also very stressful and disheartening to have an irregular or absent cycle after weaning when you are hoping to get pregnant – especially if this was the reason you weaned in the first place. Many moms wean for exactly this purpose, so if this is you, just know that weaning may not instantly make you fertile.
Read my post on trying to conceive while breastfeeding.
What I’m about to say is so much easier said than done, but it is essential when dealing with hormones after weaning: Learn to wait. Learn to be okay with not knowing what’s going on with your body. Let it go. Find a new focus. Get your mind in a different place.
Because hormones after weaning can be brutally cruel and they pay no attention to the calendar. You cannot assume anything about what your body might be doing now or will be doing in the future.
What to Expect From Your Hormones
So what should you expect from your hormones after weaning? My simplest answer is: Absolutely anything!
Trust me, I know how consuming it can be to wonder, when will I have my first postpartum period? Will my cycle be regular? Will I be fertile right away? How long will these unpleasant PMS symptoms last?
As much as I wish I could answer all of those questions for you, the fact is, every woman is unique and so is her body. I can’t give you a schedule of events for the next few months, but here are some possible symptoms that may be completely “normal” to experience for several months following weaning:
- You might feel like you are on your period for weeks at a time. You may get cramping, nausea, headaches and foggy brain for a day and think Aunt Flo is surely on her way to pay you a visit only to be left hanging when she never shows.
- You might suddenly realize you just don’t feel as happy as you did pre-weaning. You might be irritable or anxious. Some women develop something that feels very much like postpartum depression.
- You may have some strange, seemingly unrelated symptoms such as heart palpitations. I had heart palpitations for about a week beginning a couple weeks after our partial weaning. After some googling, I discovered other mamas had this symptom during or after weaning as well.
- You might have some sharp shooting pains in your breasts for a few weeks. And you may randomly have sore breasts for months without any apparent connection to a period or ovulation.
- You may experience intermittent pelvic pain or discomfort. For me, this sometimes feels similar to what I experienced toward the end of my pregnancy with my daughter – something I never had pre-pregnancy.
- You may develop a vaginal yeast infection/overgrowth. I had what felt like a yeast infection somewhere around a month or two post-partial-weaning, but it cleared up on its own within a week.
- You may be certain the disturbing smell of food and the motion-sick feeling in your head are exactly how you felt when you were pregnant. But two weeks and 4,967 cheap pregnancy tests later, you are obviously not with child.
Find out how to take a pregnancy test without all the stress here!
- You may gain weight due to hormonal shifts, appetite or metabolic changes, and consuming extra calories during mood swings.
- You may struggle with regret. Particularly if you and/or your child were not completely ready to wean, you may be so unhappy with the way your body is behaving that you wonder if it was worth it.
Although it can be normal to have all these symptoms and more after weaning, please talk to your doctor if something is concerning you as I am not a medical professional.
How to Deal with Hormones After Weaning
Mama, these hormones after weaning are capable of doing some strange things. If it’s a long, rough ride back to normalcy for you, grab yourself some guilt-free dark chocolate and take this as an opportunity to work on some things. Allow this trying circumstance to fine-tune your patience or motivate you to pursue a new hobby.
I know that sounds like an oversimplification of the emotional rollercoaster hormones can take you on. It’s hard, no doubt about it. There can be awful days sometimes. But allow me to encourage you with the positive side of hormones after weaning.
Sometimes the hard stuff pushes us to do some things differently. Sometimes the awful days lead us to realizations about ourselves. And sometimes we even come out a better person – still full of imperfections, but also wiser, more empathetic, and perhaps with a clearer vision for who we really want to be.
In my own journey thus far post-partial-weaning. I look back at those initial five months of hormonal uncertainty and feel a mixture of emotions: Aversion. Guilt. Grief. Depression. Relief. Accomplishment. Blessed. Thankful. Clarity. Peace.
Each of those emotions have a multitude of stories, but I’ll spare you the details and instead let you process your own stories. What is this moment in time trying to teach you? How might you grow from it? What are the positive outcomes that might occur as a result of this experience (even if the experience itself is not a positive one)?
Now those are the kinds of questions that will truly benefit you to ask. Focus on improving yourself inside and let your body do its thing to get regulated, however long it takes.
I know there are days when it is just downright depressing. I know you are frusrated. I know you hate how you treated your family during one of many mood swings this morning. I know you feel like your body is malfunctioning.
But there are a couple of things I want you to know too: You are not alone and this is temporary.
Get help if you need it. See a doctor if you have concerns about your physical or mental health. But be encouraged that these hormones are not unique to you and they are not your permanent identity.
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