How Your Second Time Giving Birth Will Be Different than Your First

When I was expecting my second daughter, I was planning on giving birth unmedicated like the first time. But I knew things might go differently than my first, amazing natural hospital birth. So I was searching online to find out how the second time giving birth might be different from the first.

Of course, we’ve all heard that each labor and birth experience is unique. There is no way to know for sure how yours will go. But I do think it is always helpful to read the birth stories and experiences of other women when preparing for birth, regardless of how many times you have given birth before.

Since every birth experience is indeed unique, I cannot make any promises to you about how your second labor and delivery will be different from your first. But I can tell you some things that might be different based on my own experience giving birth for the second time.

If you have not already read my first natural hospital birth story and my second natural hospital birth story, go ahead and check those out. Then come back here so you don’t miss the details on what things will be different about your second labor than your first.

Also, this post is Part II in a three-part series on having a second baby. Last week, we talked about the ways your second pregnancy will be different than your first. And next week, we will wrap up with a post about how your second postpartum will be different than your first. Enter your email address at the bottom of this page so you don’t miss the notification for when Part III in this series is published.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post should be considered as medical advice. Please speak with your own medical providers about any concerns or questions you have regarding your pregnancy or labor and delivery.

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How Giving Birth Will Be Different the Second Time

Before I dive into this, I want to briefly mention that the circumstances surrounding my two labors were vastly different, both with my mind and my body. After experiencing three consecutive pregnancy losses, my second successful pregnancy was extremely difficult emotionally and mentally. And physically, it was just different because all pregnancies are different.

I knew throughout my pregnancy that all of these factors would impact how my labor played out. My mental state was my biggest concern. But ultimately, my second time giving birth went well because I prepared myself the best I could for the situation I was in.

Regardless of your own pregnancy and birth history, your second time giving birth will likely also have some differences compared to your first. Let’s get to what some of those differences might be.

1. Length of Labor

I cannot count how many people assured me throughout my second successful pregnancy that labor would be quicker this time around. And they were right!

I was generally told that labor with a second baby is roughly half the amount of time as labor with the first baby. But in my case, my 11-hour labor with my second child was less than one-third of my 37-hour labor with my first! Which was a huge relief, I can tell you that.

I also believe the ways I mentally and physically prepared for labor and worked through labor contributed to cutting down on my labor time significantly. You can read more about what I did to shorten labor here.

I also highly recommend reading Ina May Gaskin’s book “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth” to help you prepare your mind and body for giving birth. I read this book in preparation for both of my labors and it was extremely helpful!

2. Pain Factor

I don’t really like to bring this up, because I don’t want to put any negative thoughts in your head about giving birth. But I have to admit that my second labor and delivery was far more painful than my first.

This is, unfortunately, a common theme with shorter labors. The shorter the labor, the more painful.

But personally, for my particular set of circumstances and my mindset leading up to and throughout labor, I preferred efficiency over length and ease. I just wanted to get this done and get my baby safely into the world.

So while my first labor and delivery was much more relaxed and magical, my second labor and delivery was exactly what I was hoping for this time.

I do, however, completely understand the fear associated with labor pain and I’ve been in that fearful state myself. But I have successfully pushed through that fear by the way I trained my mind and body during pregnancy. If you are struggling with fear about your upcoming second labor and delivery, enter your email at the bottom of the page and grab my free tips on how to reduce labor fear.

3. Confidence Level

I have often heard other people – especially nurses – refer to “second-time moms” as though it is a professional title assigned to women who have earned a degree in giving birth. These invincible women are characterized as being confident and self-sufficient in the midst of a daunting task, sometimes even denying offers of help as they work through labor.

I thought that was an exaggeration. Until I experienced my second labor and delivery. Now I realize those characterizations were completely accurate.

Even though I was not necessarily feeling overly confident about my upcoming labor and delivery during my pregnancy, I felt remarkably sure of myself throughout labor. I surprisingly did not feel the need for much assistance until it was time to push.

As a matter of fact, aside from requiring my husband’s hands for counterpressure during contractions, I was happy to be left completely alone by the nurses. By contrast, I felt uncertain and wanted guidance during my first labor.

When you go through your own second experience giving birth, you will be surprised at the level of confidence you possess as a second-time mom.

4. Needs

One of my the big needs I had during my first labor was water. I was so very thirsty and needed a sip of water after every single contraction (consequently, I also needed to use the restroom frequently). I fully expected to have this same need during my second time giving birth.

I frequently joked with my husband during pregnancy that he would have to “water” me after every contraction since we did not have a doula this time around to take care of all my needs. However, surprisingly, I did not have an intense need for water during my second labor.

Read about what it was like having a doula for my first birth experience.

On the reverse side, something I had to force myself to do (and did not do enough of) during my first labor is walking. I tried to do some walking, but I was so exhausted. During my second time giving both, I felt the need to keep moving to keep my labor moving. I actually had to force myself to stop moving and lay down at one point so that I could get some rest.

5. Support People

During both of my labors, I was supported by my husband but on different levels and in very different ways. A lot of this has to do with the fact that we had a doula pretty much taking care of all my needs during my first time giving birth. The second time, it was all up to my husband.

I expressed to my husband on several occasions during my pregnancy that I was worried about whether he would know what to do to support me during labor since most of the burden for the majority of my first labor was on my doula. But since we did have those conversations beforehand, he knew just how to help me best and he made an amazing primary labor support person.

If you have not already, begin to have those conversations with your spouse about how he can best support you during the process of giving birth. If you have fears or sensitive topics, get them out in the open so that he will be aware of how to best help you.

6. Priorities

I’ve already eluded to this, but what you want out of your second labor and delivery may not be the same as what you wanted out of your first. The things you valued the first time could be different from what you value this time.

You have likely learned some things that were really helpful during your first labor that you would like to do again. For me, some of these things included being able to change positions and give birth in a position other than lying on my back (this did not happen the second time despite my attempts because my daughter’s heartrate dropped – but you can read more about that in my full birth story).

But you have probably also learned some things that you do not wish to do the same as the first time. For me, a big labor and delivery value this time around was to walk and keep moving as much as possible to speed up the process. Another big thing for me was that I wanted and needed my space, contrary to my first labor.

7. Meeting Baby

Your experience with how quickly you get to hold your baby might look different in your second birth experience, subject to many factors.

With my second delivery, my baby was “stunned” according to the midwife. She was not crying and needed to be examined and suctioned by the nurses promptly because of her low heart rate shortly before birth. Consequently, she was not handed directly to me after birth like my first daughter was.

She ended up being fine and I was able to hold her just a few minutes later.

You could have the opposite scenario. Maybe you did not get to hold your first baby right away and you will get to hold your second baby much sooner.

Some Things Will Be the Same

There’s no doubt about it, your second time giving birth will be different, just as your two children will be different. With each unique experience giving birth being it’s own unpredictable event, you might feel like it’s impossible to adequately prepare for your second labor.

But there will also likely be some similarities that will give you the opportunity to practice what you’ve learned from previous experience.

Here are some of the similarities in my own two labors:

1. Labor started in the morning.
2. Labor started with my water breaking.
3. Labor pains came on gradually, beginning like period cramping that slowly progressed in intensity.
4. I ate breakfast while contractions were still light and then had no appetite for the rest of labor.
5. I experienced a small amount of bleeding during labor.
6. I arrived at the hospital further along in dilation than I expected.
7. I became very nauseous at some point in the last third of the first stage of labor.
8. I was able to hold and breastfeed my baby for several hours undisturbed after the process of giving birth was over.

Whatever differences or similarities you have with your own two labors, remember that the most important thing is that you and your baby are healthy and safe. All other aspects of giving birth are just the logistics of getting baby into your arms.

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