During your first pregnancy, you were probably told multiples times to enjoy your pregnancy because the first pregnancy is different from subsequent pregnancies. And they were right in some ways. Your second pregnancy will be totally different in a lot of areas. In this post, we’ll discuss some of the ways in which your second pregnancy will be different than your first.
This post is the first in a three-part series on having a second child. Next week, Part II will focus on how your second birth experience will be different than your first. And then, in Part III we will talk about how your second postpartum experience will be different than your first. So stick around to get the full scoop on what to expect with your second baby!
DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional and nothing in this post is meant to be medical advice. Please speak with your OBGYN or midwife regarding any questions or concerns you have.
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Your Second Pregnancy Will Be Different than Your First
I have to preface this post with an abridged background of my own pregnancy history. I will not actually be sharing the experiences of my first and second pregnancies. Rather, I will be sharing the experiences of my second and sixth pregnancies, since four of my pregnancies ended in miscarriage.
If you want to know more about that, you can read my posts on my missed miscarriage, my complete molar pregnancy and my two chemical pregnancies.
So the pregnancies I will referring to in this post were my first successful pregnancy and my second successful pregnancy.
Read “To the Mama Going Through Pregnancy After Recurrent Miscarriage“.
Also, I’m not going to pretend to know all of the ways that your second pregnancy will be different than your first. I do not know all of the circumstances surrounding either of your pregnancies. But in this post I am going to focus on some of the things that I think are very likely to be different about this second pregnancy experience for you.
So let’s get to it! Here are the things that will likely be different about your second pregnancy than your first.
1. Earlier Back Pain
There is just something about our backs that is a weak point in pregnancy. It seems that virtually no woman is immune to back pain and discomfort during pregnancy.
With my first successful pregnancy, back issues didn’t start until I was nearly 8 months pregnant. But with my second pregnancy, the back problems came on strong at 14 weeks. It seems that our pregnant bodies anticipate what’s coming for our backs much sooner the second time around.
But there are many ways you can mitigate and even avoid some of this back pain. Exercise and stretching, visiting a chiropractor and using an exercise ball as your main chair are a few ways in which you can help diminish your back pain during pregnancy.
Read my post on my top 3 remedies for pregnancy back pain here or my post on 9 pregnancy discomfort solutions here for more details on what to do to ease your back pain in this second pregnancy.
2. Less Time to Dream
Once you have a child, your time to do anything is significantly reduced, as you already know. Consequently, those dreamy moments of peacefully stroking your belly while speaking baby-loving words with a gentle smile on your face will be much less frequent during your second pregnancy.
You might struggle to bond with your second baby as easily as you did with your first. This is a natural result of having less quality time alone with your bump to dream and connect with the little one growing inside of you.
Read “How to Prepare for Breastfeeding“.
This might feel discouraging, but it is normal to have different bonding experiences with different pregnancies. Despite what fears you may have right now, this does not mean that you will not love your second baby as much as your first.
3. More Things to Celebrate
In case you are tempted to feel down after that last way in which your second pregnancy will be different than your first, here is something beautiful to focus on: You will have more things to celebrate with this second pregnancy.
Your first child may steal some of your baby-bonding time in this pregnancy. But having a child to share pregnancy moments with also means there are even more special moments this time around. Pregnancy announcement pictures, gender reveals, nursery decorating and baby name discussions are all just a little more fun with an expectant big sibling involved.
Besides the big moments in pregnancy, all those little everyday moments teaching your older child about what it means to be a big brother or big sister are priceless. Talk, use dolls and read books about becoming a big sibling to prepare your first child.
4. Less Things to Buy
Since you likely still have a lot of things from your first baby, you won’t need to buy nearly as much for this second baby. You already have the crib, changing table, rocking chair, swing, bouncy, high chair, infant car seat, stroller, playmat, baby toys, blankets, clothes, socks, hats, changing mat, bibs, washcloths, etc. What could you possibly need to buy?
Unless you are still using some of these items for your first child, you likely will not have the need to buy or register for most of these things. This is simultaneously freeing and disappointing. Since your time is so much more limited now than it probably was during your first pregnancy, it’s nice to have less on your to-do list.
However, it can also feel a little sad to not be able to do all the same exciting preparations with your second baby as you were doing with your first baby. But don’t worry, because you do actually need to buy or register for some things for your second baby.
When I started to pull out the baby clothes I had stored after my older daughter outgrew them, I realized almost all of them were badly stained from spit-up. Even though many of them were perfectly stain-free when I put them into boxes, the stains had magically reappeared by the time I pulled them back out. So, you are going to need more baby clothes than you might think, even if you are having the same gender as before.
Read “How to Get Your Husband Excited About Having a Baby Girl“.
You will also likely need some new baby washcloths by now unless yours are still in great shape. And regardless of the copious amount of baby blankets you received at your baby shower during your first pregnancy, you will probably want to buy more of those as well.
When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I realized that all those blankets I had received for my first daughter were still being used by her. So I ended up welcoming copious amounts of blankets as gifts for my second daughter as well.
5. More Braxton Hicks
This one is another physical pregnancy symptom that can be more challenging in your second pregnancy. With my first daughter, I didn’t really have Braxton Hicks. I may have had them one or two isolated times, but that was it.
By contrast, I started having intense Braxton Hicks with my second daughter when I was just 24 weeks pregnant. Needless to say, it was a little frightening, particularly given my pregnancy loss history. However, these “practice contractions” were not painful, despite their intensity.
I was somewhat concerned every time they occurred. Especially because they were so strong that I had to stop and breathe through them. I did contact my midwife’s office several times about it, but based on their guidance, I never had any true indication that my baby was in danger, so I did not end up going in.
If you have any concerns about any cramping or contractions you are having (practice or potentially real), contact your OBGYN or midwife. Your provider can help you know what is okay and what is not. It is better to be on the safe side.
6. Comments From Strangers
The last point on my list of things that will be different about your second pregnancy is that comments from strangers may be a less negative experience this time around.
When I was pregnant with my first daughter, I received some sarcastic and patronizing comments from strangers.
One of the negative comments I received during my first successful pregnancy was when a contractor came to our house to give us a quote on painting some rooms, including the nursery. He mentioned how he remembered when his wife was pregnant with their first child. And then he said, “And then they grow up and mouth off to you and slam the door in your face.”
I found this a rather discouraging and unpleasant way of being congratulated on my first successful pregnancy.
Read “Why You Need a Birth Doula“.
Another example of a comment that bothered me were the numerous times people told me to enjoy this pregnancy and my first baby because, “You won’t be able to do that with the next one.”
While I realize most strangers probably did not mean anything unkind in this statement, it often came across as a negative implication about my future childbearing experience. It also sometimes felt a little condescending.
And let’s not forget the classic, “Sleep while you can, because that baby sure won’t let you sleep once it’s born!”
With your second pregnancy, you don’t have to worry as much about attacks on your naivete or pregnancy joy. You already know what it’s like to have a child and everyone who asks, “Is this your first baby?” will know better than to try to tell you what it’s like to have children.
Some Things Will Be the Same
While there are many things that will feel very different about your second pregnancy (probably a lot more things than I listed in this post), some things will also be the same.
You will still worry about whether your baby is okay in there. You will still imagine what life is going to be like with a new little person in the family. You will still do your best to avoid lifting heavy things, eating too much fish or drinking too much caffeine. You will still use the pregnancy as an excuse to send your husband out to the grocery store at 11pm for a pint of ice cream.
Read “4 Things You Didn’t Know You Should Avoid During Pregnancy“.
You will still need to slow down and rest at times, even when it feels impossible. You will still love your baby with all your heart, regardless of how many distractions or challenges you having going on around or within you.
Enjoy your second pregnancy in whatever way you are able to, Mama. I know that does not mean the same thing as it did the first time. But take advantage of those little moments to get excited about the baby with big sibling and those brief moments of necessary rest.
Make sure you come back next week to read about the ways your second labor and delivery will be different than your first! And to make sure you don’t miss it, sign up for my emails below so you will be notified whenever I publish a new post. This will also allow you access to all of my free printables!
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