If you are a reflux-baby-mama, you and I already have a very strong connection. You and I both understand the difficulty, frustration, heartbreak and confusion involved in having a baby with infant reflux.
If we were to sit down for a chat over a cup of tea, we could easily relate to each other’s experiences with our reflux babies in a way a lot of mamas just wouldn’t understand.
And in expressing our unique mothering perspectives, we also may learn from each other about some new ways of dealing with and soothing infant reflux.
As much as I would love to discuss spit-up and screaming babies in a cozy coffee shop with you, sometimes online interaction is the only kind we get as mothers of babies suffering from infant reflux.
And because I have gleaned so much valuable information as well as encouragement from other reflux baby mamas over the internet, I decided it is my turn to spread some practical and helpful information.
Before we continue, I would just like to mention that there are a lot of valid “tips and tricks” for alleviating discomfort in your reflux baby which will not be discussed here simply because they helped my baby exactly zero percent.
If you’re considering medicating your baby’s infant reflux, readz my post on why it’s not always a good idea here.
Sit baby upright after feeds? It still came up even though my baby kept herself upright most of the time from 6 1/2 weeks on.
Stop nursing often for a burp and a break? My screaming child was much happier when I did not withhold her milk
Prop the crib up at an angle? My little one made it clear she was only able to sleep in my propped-up arms.
Colic calm? Probiotics? Cell salt supplements? Unfortunately, none of these helped either.
If you are experiencing the same defeating results from the commonly suggested solutions to infant reflux, perhaps the coping mechanisms that helped tremendously ease my baby’s discomfort will help yours too.
Here are the 3 things that were the most effective at soothing my baby’s reflux throughout the first year of her life.
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1. Nursing on Demand
Without contest, the number one soother for my daughter’s reflux was (and still is) nursing. We did not give her a pacifier and I let her nurse on demand – which, for her, meant constantly.
I know not everyone thought it wise of me to offer my boob every time my baby cried, but it was often the only thing that calmed her and it calmed her instantly.
Occasionally a family member could temporarily distract her during one of her crying spells, but inevitably, she always needed to nurse in the end.
For the first several months postpartum, the only way I could shower was to hand my daughter off to her daddy immediately after nursing her, rush through my shower and hurriedly dry off so that I could again nurse my screaming baby.
But you know what? I was completely okay with the arrangement we had. Yes, I spent most of the day on the couch nursing and holding her, but it’s what she needed from me and I was able to do it.
Read this post for ideas on how to productively fill your time during those postpartum days on the couch.
I believe it is the most natural thing in the world for a baby to nurse for comfort. God designed tiny humans to do just that.
And when you have a tiny human who is in pain, you just need to do whatever is healthiest and most comfortable for him.
Don’t worry about people who try to tell you that you are creating an overly dependant child. All you are doing is meeting his legitimate needs instead of exacerbating his suffering by denying him the thing he wants most.
2. Co-Sleeping
The thing that has saved both my and my daughter’s sleep throughout this infant reflux journey is co-sleeping. And when I say co-sleeping, I don’t mean just sleeping in the same room.
Yes, I’m talking about the big no-no of “bed-sharing” with your baby. I am not a bed-sharing proponent generally, and I did not plan to bed-share with my baby.
But when it was time for my incredibly helpful mom to leave our house when my daughter was 3 weeks old, I didn’t know how I was going to survive the nights.
While my mom was with us, I spent every night nursing my daughter to sleep and laying her in her bassinet over and over and over only to have her wake up crying within 15 (occasionally 30 or 45) minutes every time.
The maximum amount of sleep I got at night was 2 hours – usually broken up throughout the night.
However, during the day, my mom would hold my baby after I had nursed her to sleep, and I could usually get an amazing two-hour nap before she woke up.
Once my babysitter was gone, so was what little sleep I was getting, so I had no choice but to find a way to sleep.
I was too scared to sleep with her in bed with me or in any position in which I could roll onto her, especially because I was so sleep-deprived at that point that I slept too deep to be capable of being aware of my surroundings.
So I ended up sleeping in the amazing Lay-Z-Boy reclining rocking chair we had bought especially for the nursery.
I wore the My Brest Friend nursing pillow (which was already basically my second lap) to keep her from rolling out of my arms and made sure my arms were tucked securely around her before going to sleep each night.
We slept like this for a year until we transitioned to sleeping on a mattress on the floor together. She moves so much in her sleep and rolls off the mattress often, so we cannot sleep on the three-foot-tall master bed.
We have created a sleep environment that allows reflux-baby and reflux-baby-mama to actually get decent sleep, and it has worked really well.
I do not plan to bed-share with my next child unless there is a need. But if we have another baby with infant reflux, I will do whatever is necessary to promote good sleep for both of us.
This is a tricky topic because of the dangers of bed-sharing with an infant who can easily be squished, trapped or suffocated. Do not do anything you feel is unsafe or risky to your baby’s health.
But don’t feel guilty, either, for finding creative and safe ways to sleep while holding your baby if that’s the only way either of you can get good sleep.
3. Movement
While nursing and holding my baby helped to soothe her infant reflux most of the time, there were certainly days and nights when this just wasn’t enough.
Despite many blogs and websites advising minimising movement after feeds to help prevent regurgitation of liquid in the stomach, sometimes the only way I could calm my distressed baby was to bounce her on the exercise ball or walk her around the house.
Sometimes this was the only way she could feed without constantly pulling off, arching her back and crying.
We also had nights and naptimes when bouncing while nursing was the only way my daughter could fall asleep and stay asleep.
On the really bad days, sometimes I would literally have to jog around her room (carefully of course) with her in my arms before she could calm down and be comfortable enough to sleep.
I haven’t done the research to try to figure out why movement helps to soothe a reflux baby, but whatever the reason, my daughter loved it!
So when all else fails and you just want your screaming baby to feel better or get some sleep, try different forms of movement to see what your baby responds well to.
I liked the exercise ball the best because it was less tiring than some other crazy stunts I tried, but that wasn’t always the right movement for my baby – although it worked most of the time.
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If you’re lucky, perhaps your reflux baby will like being in a swing. My baby, unfortunately, did not because she pretty much just always wanted to be in my arms.
If this is the case for you as well, I highly recommend investing in an exercise ball or pulling out the one you used during your pregnancy. Trust me when I say it will save your legs … And quite possibly your sanity!
A Light at the End of the Infant Reflux Tunnel
So when will this daily struggle for you and your baby end? I don’t know how many times I asked that question throughout my baby’s first year of life.
When she was a newborn, I was given hope that she would outgrow infant reflux by 6 weeks to 3 months. When she passed 3 months, everyone was saying 6 months was the magic number.
After 6 months, my research revealed it can be normal for it to go on until 9 months old. When she continued into her tenth month with ongoing reflux issues, I found comfort in discovering that 95% of babies outgrow infant reflux by twelve months of age.
And now, as my daughter lays asleep in my arms, I look to the moms of toddlers, preschoolers and elementary-aged kids who share that their child’s reflux lasted until age 2, 3, 4 and beyond.
And once again, I hope that the next reflux milestone age brings with it sweet healing for my daughter.
I can’t tell you when your baby will outgrow or heal from her infant reflux. No one can, as a matter of fact.
But I can show you the light at the end of the tunnel that you will see soon too. It is this fact: It will get better even if it doesn’t entirely go away.
My daughter still struggles with reflux. Just today, I had to practice a significant amount of patience getting her into her carseat and changing her diaper, because they both require her to be in positions which are irritants to her reflux, and she was not cooperating at all.
But the good news is that these situations are not generally the norm anymore. As she has gotten older and become more active, she seems to be less bothered by the reflux.
So even though it has not disappeared, the reflux doesn’t rule our lives like it used to.
Reflux Baby Mama, it will get better … One way or another.
Want to read more on my experiences and research regarding infant acid reflux? Check out the posts below!
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